I’ve heard this being said a number of times with teams and it often reminds me of the story the Jeff Patton told in his book “User Story Mapping” when he was talking about requirements. In that story, when he was trying to get a better understanding of the underlying need being requested he was told “They’re requirements” – to which he likened to being told to “shut up”.
When I hear the term “It’s on the backlog” I think that’s another way some agilists are telling others to “shut up”, or at the very least “go away”. Often it’s not followed up with more honesty like “we don’t intend to build that”, or at the very least “it’s not likely to be built in the near future”. Sometimes this is a way of saying “No” or “Not yet” where it can be difficult to say this flat out, but is it the most respectful way to treat people?
Again, this is the problem with using the term “Backlog” instead of “Options”.
How about instead try something along the lines of “we can add a ticket to our pool of options, but it’s not likely to be implemented anytime soon, if at all”. You might find that this change in terminology gives your stakeholders greater respect and builds on the trust and transparency that you need to build a more stable foundation for a longer lasting relationship. Also, you’re starting lean towards the use of language that supports probability / likelihood rather than absolute certainty. This incremental step can be built upon later with greater use forecasting.